Difficult time.

So lots of you may have heard something about what is going on up here but not details. So now that the ordeal is pretty much over I will fill in the details for you.
So May 4th, 2010 I started having some abdominal pain. Mostly my pain was on the right side of my belly. But i didn't think much of it because I had started going back to the gym the same day. The pain was intermittent and not horrible, although i was taking Tylenol and ibuprofen for it at times. Saturday and Sunday the 8th and 9th my pain was much worse. Sunday I started taking higher doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol around the clock because the pain would almost have me doubled over holding my stomach. The OTC pain medication helped but the pain was still very present. That weekend we were down in Orofino, so when we got home on Sunday night, I decided before I took my next dose of Ibuprofen I was going to take a pregnancy test, just to rule out the idea of it.
I really wasn't expecting the test to be positive because I still had my IUD birth control in place and they say the chance of getting pregnant with it are 0.01%. But sure enough, the little stick came back posative. I instantly freaked out. I was shaking terribly and wasn't quite sure what to do. (can you say wow, unexpected news on MOTHERS day of all days) So i called the doctor that was on call for my OB office. When I got a hold of him, I told him that i was having severe abdominal pain, which was tolerable at the moment, I still had my IUD in, which they had put in 2 years ago, and I just took a positive pregnancy test! His first words' "Hmmm, are you sure" I laughed at that and said, Yes I'm sure. Then he informed me if my pain gets worse go to the ER and if it doesn't then come to there office in the morning! The pain got better, so I waited and went into the office in the morning.
My nurse practitioner confirmed my positive pregnancy test, checked my IUD to make sure it was still in the correct spot and it was, and then sent me over to have lab work and and Ultrasound.
My ultrasound came back inconclusive. They couldn't find the baby by ultrasound. Then my lab work came back and my HCG results were only 470. So this i was informed meant the possibility of two things; one the baby is viable and in my uterus but just to small to detect, or i have a tubal pregnancy and it just isn't very far along.
I was not ready to be a mom for the second time however, i was praying for the first option. I would rather be a mom again a little bit earlier than planned rather than having to deal with tubal stuff. so once they did the ultrasound they took the IUD out, because either way if I was having a viable pregnancy, it had to come out and if i wasn't, i wanted it out anyways!!
So then the waiting game started. I had to wait 48 hours to find out any more news. The pain still came on strong at times. 48 Hours later i had to have my HCG level drawn again. For a viable pregnancy...my hcg levels would double, tubal or non-viable the levels would stay the same or drop. My levels dropped. So at this point we knew we weren't becoming parents again, and we were just praying that it would go away and i wouldn't have to have surgery.
After the pregnancy was determined Non-viable, we had a few options, we could wait and watch my levels without any drugs and see what they did. (my doctor said this would be rolling the dice, however i highly considered it since he also said, "but the dice have been rolling your way so far") The other two options were surgery to go in and make sure my tube was okay and take the tubal pregnancy out of the tube, or take a shot of a drug called methotrexate which is a chemo (cancer drug). He said he would try the drug first. The idea of the drug is that it kills rapidly dividing cells, like cancer and in my case a fetal tissue) Realize at this point, the baby isn't viable, it can't grow in my tube so I wasn't killing my baby. Anyhow after much discussed I decided it would be safer to take the shot, and save my tube for the next time we do want to have kids.
So Friday the 14th, I got my methotrexate shot. It wasn't horrible. I was expecting a lot of nausea. I did get slightly nauseated and very weak through out. Just kinda felt crummy but for only a few hours and then it passed.
Then I had to wait a whole week to see what my HCG levels did. Thank goodness the shot has worked so far. My hcg levels yesterday were 20. They have to less than 5 to say for sure that everything is going to be fine, but for now the doc said we are probably not going to have to do surgery!! We did do an another ultrasond to make sure there wasn't blood pooling in my abdominal cavity from a ruptures and there wasn't... So that was all good news!
After all that... he said so we could wait a month and put another IUD back in, I just laughed, and said probably not!! I'll go with something else!!
So thanks everyone for all the messages of concern, and support. Sorry I didn't fill everyone in with all the details. I wanted the ordeal to be over before talking about it to EVERYONE!!

The big move happened all in two days…

So the big move i talked about earlier, i didn’t follow up on with a post.  It was suppose to happen in phases… However George went out of town for 5 days and the two days I had off… I made the big move happen.  One morning I disassembled the log bed and moved everything out of the room.  That afternoon I decided i was going to paint, and that night when Kiersten went to bed….the paint brush called my name.  So the fun began, I ended up staying up till 2am painting and then woke up the next morning and finished.  While Kiersten was taking her afternoon nap in mom and dads bed, I moved her whole room into her new room.  It sure didn’t bother her to move into the new room…except when she saw everything all disassembled…she wanted to know “wha happen” and asked if her bed (which was in pieces” was “broke”  Needless to say… it all got removed, painted and moved back in in two days.  So much for the three part phase… Do i ever do anything in phases… i don’t think so, its now or never, I think that should be my motto!

Easter

Easter got here very quickly on us.  So I was a bad mother and we didn’t color Eggs this year.  I really had full intentions, even hard boiled the eggs, however I worked the three days before 12 hour shifts and we just didn’t make time. Either way Kiersten got to have an Easter basket, go Easter egg hunting in Coeur d’alene, and visit the Easter bunny!

So Kiersten got two Easter baskets this year, I guess the bunny just loved her to much, or she might be a little spoiled.  Anyhow she got a cars basket and a Sponge Bob basket.  Here they are.

She loved them from the moment she saw them…. 

After we spent the early morning at home with the Easter baskets…we went over to Coeur d’alene for the Lake City Easter Egg hunt.  It was fun, not much “hunting” for eggs involved for the kids but they enjoyed picking them up. Kiersten had a good time running around with one of  her good friends Caden (Bryan and Erin’s little boy).  It was a good time. Very bummed though, It was 36 degrees out for the kiddos and I guess my camera doesn’t like it that cold.  So my nice camera wouldn’t work, I did get a few from my cell phone.  So here they are, not the best but better than nothing! After the egg hunt we went to visit the Easter bunny.  Unfortunately we were early and had to wait for him to show up! Here is Kiersten, Kami, and Cade waiting.And kiersten with the easter bunny.  She wasn’t sure about sitting on his lap…but she sure didn’t want to leave him.  She did wave and say “goodbye easter bunny” when we left.

 

Now that Easter is done…she really loves to take her Spongebob Easter basket for walks.  She holds his hand and puts him real close to the ground to where is feet barely drag on the ground and says “he’s walking”  and then “he wants up” as she picks him up.  That basket…she really does love!  Here is a photo with her spongebob basket…

The BIG move

Getting ready for the big move…well not really haha. Even though we aren’t having another child any time soon we are preparing for it in the long run.  My office currently is shared by an extra bed.  We have decided to rid the house of the extra bed and move our baby girl into the bigger room so when we have a second child, they will have the bigger room to share. 

We want to get her used to her new bedroom because she currently isn’t aloud in that room.  So this plan is happening in phases… over the next couple months!

PHASE ONE: Remove the extra bed.  This will happen later this week.  Kate and the kids are coming up to stay this week and then my parents are coming up Thursday and will take the bed home with them on Sunday.  You may ask where is our family going to stay when they come up…well we have decided that we are going to buy an Aerobed for them to stay on when visiting.  Our house just isn’t big enough to have an office and kids room and extra bedroom.  The Aerobed will be blown up in the office when we have company.

PHASE TWO: Paint.  I haven’t decided for sure on this phase but I'm pretty sure I’m going to paint the bedroom before moving Kiersten into the new room!

PHASE THREE: Swap Kiersten and the office.  This sounds easy however Kiersten’s toddler bed is the crib converted into the toddler bed and it won’t fit through the doorway…so I will have to disassemble the crib and reassemble it in the new room. So this phase will take probably just as long as the painting phase!!!

Anyhow thats my new adventure and plans to happen over the next few months! It will keep me busy I'm sure!

Worst Case Scenario...RULED OUT!!

So the last post that I wrote was a little emotional, so here is the current update! I went to my primary care doctor on tuesday and she sent me directly over to the hospital to have my MRI scan done of my brain. She called me about 5 hours later and informed me that everything looked good on my MRI scan. So worst case scenario, which i didn't mention in my previous blog, of a brain tumor, is ruled out. It really had me terrified, I tried to stay sane for a week, with many tears shed while i was falling asleep at night So i'm happy to have the MRI done and the test results back, to relieve the stress.
So the optic nerve swelling isn't normal, so I'm being referred to a neurologist, to see what else it could be. My primary doctor said it most likely a condition called pseudotumor cerebri, which is a hormone related condition that can cause your body to make to much cerebral spinal fluid. We will see what he says and go from there...either way, its not a brain tumor, so that relieves my mind!

Lolipops...

This week I have alot on my mind, so this post is mainly for me to just get 'stuff' off my mind. To write my thoughts down without having to talk about them.
The last few days I have really been "looking" at my life and my family. I know most days most people go about their daily regimen and don't stop to think about all the little things that are in your life, I do this most days, however something happened this week that has me really reflecting on my life and everything in it. I'm trying to enjoy every minute or second of it. Last night my daughter wouldn't sit in her highchair to eat dinner, so I got to feed her every bite as she watched her "nochio" (pinochio) on tv. Last week if she wouldn't sit in her highchair....she just wouldn't eat. But this week, every bite I fed to her and watched her come at me with wide open mouth from across the room and I enjoyed every minute of it. She may not do this forever right!!
Well today... it really had me realize how lucky I am. Something as simple as a lolipop, is what really made me sit down and write this. I worked all day and stopped at the bank on the way home, and sure enough...the bank teller must have heard me say something to kiersten in the back seat...because she sent me my reciept....and a sucker for Kiersten. I know this sounds silly, but it totally reminded me of when I was a kid and they would send me suckers. We as kids used to beg mom to tell them we are here....we want a sucker. It was just something we looked forward to every time we went to the bank. I just had to giggle when this role was reversed and i'm now the mom...handing a sucker back to MY daughter. She loved every second of eating that sucker and begged me for another one when we got home. Unfortunately, She will have to wait until the next time we go the bank drive through. Hopefully this will be something that she remembers and one day will help her reflect back on life and remember that the smallest of things really really really do matter.
You may ask me why i'm writing this oh so sentimental post... Well I'm not going to go into details about the situation at this moment, Because i'm praying for it to be absolutelly NOTHING, however, It could be something huge that will change our lives forever.
Okay okay... i can't stop writing.
I went to the eye doctor and was diagnosed as having bilateral optic nerve swelling. I know so whats the big deal right. Well....long story short, optic nerve swelling is caused by increase in your intracranial pressure. I'm not going to elaborate on this.... you can look up stuff if you really want to read about optic nerve swelling. Anyhow I was referred back to my primary care doctor and I go see her this Tuesday. My eye doctor recommends that I have an MRI of my brain, and a lumbar puncture done to check my spinal fluid pressures! We will see with time what this shows. I'm trying to be posative and hoping that nothing comes of it, however I've also researched all about optical nerve swelling and there isn't many "good" things it could be. So i'm keeping my fingers crossed and will keep everyone updated as I find out more information. I'm praying for the best but fearing the worst at this time. I don't really want to talk about any of this, so if you see me and want to ask questions...fine but i'll probably get teary eyed...and i don't know much more about it that i've written her.
So thanks for listening... it always has helped me to journal about things and I mainly do this for myself. My online "journal" just happens to be public!!

New Program….

So call me crazy but I love finding a new program that works well with the blog and such.  First I found Live Writer…. a long time ago which i just type in on my computer…don’t have have the internet…and then I upload my blog to the blog site.  Makes it much easier and very user friendly….

But NOW…. i’ve found an amazing program made by google.  Its called picasa and is a photo editing program.  Anyhow as soon as I upload my photos to my computer from my camera… I can open picasa…which organizes my photos and i just select the photos i want to add to my blog…. and click “blog this” button.  And voila… my photos are sent to my blog site.  So what this means for you is that you will get lots more photos…but less writing…because it doesn’t let me write in picasa…which is fine cause everyone just wants to see photos anyways, right!?

Anyhow if you blog and haven’t tried this photo program… its a must have… you can get it online at google!

Happy 2nd Birthday Kiersten

Christmas with Kiersten 2009

The Holidays….

The holidays were SOOO nice this year.  We didn’t travel much, and I actually love it.  I know our families miss us on Christmas but it was so nice to wake up in our own house for Christmas this year!  I think we stayed home for Christmas last year but I don’t remember.  I was just so amazing watching Kiersten this year.  Obviously Christmas last year wasn’t as memorable…..she was so into Santa, the Christmas tree and the gifts this year.  Every morning it was so nice to see the joy on Kiersten’s face when she would say “lights” and point to the tree….she LOVED it every day that we turned the lights on on the tree.  She also loved to point to the Santa ornament on the tree and say tell us that it was “Santa”.  Christmas was definitely better with kids!  Can say that the holidays are so much more refreshing when kids are involved.  Hear is a picture of our family with Santa.  Kiersten would not sit on his lap by herself so we got a family photo…  And as you can still see…she was terrified!