Lolipops...

This week I have alot on my mind, so this post is mainly for me to just get 'stuff' off my mind. To write my thoughts down without having to talk about them.
The last few days I have really been "looking" at my life and my family. I know most days most people go about their daily regimen and don't stop to think about all the little things that are in your life, I do this most days, however something happened this week that has me really reflecting on my life and everything in it. I'm trying to enjoy every minute or second of it. Last night my daughter wouldn't sit in her highchair to eat dinner, so I got to feed her every bite as she watched her "nochio" (pinochio) on tv. Last week if she wouldn't sit in her highchair....she just wouldn't eat. But this week, every bite I fed to her and watched her come at me with wide open mouth from across the room and I enjoyed every minute of it. She may not do this forever right!!
Well today... it really had me realize how lucky I am. Something as simple as a lolipop, is what really made me sit down and write this. I worked all day and stopped at the bank on the way home, and sure enough...the bank teller must have heard me say something to kiersten in the back seat...because she sent me my reciept....and a sucker for Kiersten. I know this sounds silly, but it totally reminded me of when I was a kid and they would send me suckers. We as kids used to beg mom to tell them we are here....we want a sucker. It was just something we looked forward to every time we went to the bank. I just had to giggle when this role was reversed and i'm now the mom...handing a sucker back to MY daughter. She loved every second of eating that sucker and begged me for another one when we got home. Unfortunately, She will have to wait until the next time we go the bank drive through. Hopefully this will be something that she remembers and one day will help her reflect back on life and remember that the smallest of things really really really do matter.
You may ask me why i'm writing this oh so sentimental post... Well I'm not going to go into details about the situation at this moment, Because i'm praying for it to be absolutelly NOTHING, however, It could be something huge that will change our lives forever.
Okay okay... i can't stop writing.
I went to the eye doctor and was diagnosed as having bilateral optic nerve swelling. I know so whats the big deal right. Well....long story short, optic nerve swelling is caused by increase in your intracranial pressure. I'm not going to elaborate on this.... you can look up stuff if you really want to read about optic nerve swelling. Anyhow I was referred back to my primary care doctor and I go see her this Tuesday. My eye doctor recommends that I have an MRI of my brain, and a lumbar puncture done to check my spinal fluid pressures! We will see with time what this shows. I'm trying to be posative and hoping that nothing comes of it, however I've also researched all about optical nerve swelling and there isn't many "good" things it could be. So i'm keeping my fingers crossed and will keep everyone updated as I find out more information. I'm praying for the best but fearing the worst at this time. I don't really want to talk about any of this, so if you see me and want to ask questions...fine but i'll probably get teary eyed...and i don't know much more about it that i've written her.
So thanks for listening... it always has helped me to journal about things and I mainly do this for myself. My online "journal" just happens to be public!!